Reality began to sink in.
She would never know what it would be like,
To feel life growing,
Deep within her.
To feel the kicks,
Inside of her stomach.
To experience the temporary pain & discomfort,
Only to then witness,
The beauty of creation,
Before her very eyes.
The finality of it all,
Didn’t seem real.
Even when the words were uttered,
“There is nothing that can be done.”
She sat in her car,
What dreams she had,
All washed away in tears.
She drove down to the river,
And walked along the sand to her favourite spot.
She sat down,
Burying her head in her hands,
There would be those who would support her,
Offer alternatives to try to ease her pain.
As much as she would appreciate them,
It wouldn’t take away the emptiness she felt.
“My empty,” she said, hugging her stomach with her hands.
She appeared and sat down by her side.
“What can I do?” She asked.
“Nothing,” she said, “there’s nothing that can be done…”
Lowering her head, she began to weep.
Taking her into Her arms,
She kissed the top of her head.
Holding her close, She spoke softly,
“I can’t imagine the pain you are feeling right now, but I can hold your hand through it,” She said.
“You’ll be holding my hand for a long time,” she said, cracking a bit of a smile.
Smiling back, She kissed her forehead.
“I don’t understand why this is happening to me,” she said, “I always thought I would follow in footsteps of my mother, the women in my family, my girlfriends. I always thought I would follow the natural order of being a woman. Yet now this feels more like a club that I can never ever belong to.”
“That’s not true sweet Child,” She said,”when a woman desires to nurture life, no matter what form life takes, she becomes a mother.”
“So a 5 year old girl taking care of a plant is a mother?” she asked.
“Haha, yes in a way, she is,” She said, “that 5 year old child is just following her natural rhythm. You see Child, being a mother is more than just being able to carry life within you. Being able to nurture life is what makes a woman a mother.”
Leaning her head against her arm, she turned to face Her,
“I think that I understand,” she said, “it still aches, but……not as much as before.”
“I’m glad,” She said, smiling.
The young woman got up from the sand and walked over to the river’s edge,
In the distance,
She saw a female duck, followed by her ducklings,
Swimming together, all in sync.
They came close to where the young woman stood.
The mother duck paused, looking up at her.
She acknowledged the duck’s gaze,
With a loving one of her own.
The mother duck turned and led her flock,
Down the river once more.
As she stood watching,
The young woman’s heart,
Filled with hope once more.