River

I like to pride myself as being a person working towards changing my perception of life from a glass half empty to a glass half full view.

Most of my life I’ve seen the glass half empty. I was like “Eeyore” through most of my teens and twenties. In recent years, I’ve begun looking into belief systems that I no longer bought into. Aware that the cause of my unhappiness was the way I looked at things; the way I perceived things.

I feel that I’ve done a lot of work in this area and have been steadily changing my focus from the problems in my life to focusing on solutions. But, I’m human and sometimes I fail.

This past Friday was one of those days.

I went to work with a big chip on my shoulder. With my recent layoff and facing some health issues, something inside me just snapped. All of a sudden, ‘I’m okay’ just wasn’t resonating with me. No, I wasn’t okay.

In fact, thoughts that once entertained my mind in my teens came back to haunt me. Mainly – what’s the point of it all? Why am I even here? There’s no point in going on. It would be so easy…..

To just give up.

I couldn’t shake the intensity of my sadness. I could no longer ignore it. No positive affirmation was going to get me out of my sadness haze. I was firmly stuck in the storm in my head, the tension in my body, the ache in my heart.

Thankfully, I wasn’t seeing any patients.

Later on, I went to say hello to a fellow colleague. We started chatting. She’s in the same boat I am in in terms of layoffs (it’s been a tough year) and as we talked about the challenges we are both facing, she told me about a song by Garth Brooks called The River. She told me the lyrics and the line that hit me first was:

“I’ll never reach my destination if I never try…”

Tears welled up in my eyes. I realized that my Spirit Guides sent me a clear sign. DON’T GIVE UP! The entire song is about how life is a river – sometimes it’s smooth, sometimes you’re dealing with crashing rapids. But continue on because that’s all part of the journey.

It was clear sign for me to not give up. To keep going…. it may be rough waters at the moment but it will get better.

I was and still am so honestly blown away by how supported we are in this Universe. It meant so much to know that I am being watched over. In their own subtle but yet incredibly beautiful way, they let me know exactly what I needed to hear at the exact right moment.

So for now, I’m just breathing my way through the rapids. Hoping for a smooth rest of the ride or perhaps a soft landing after going over a waterfall!

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