Leader

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A situation happened to me which made me reflect. Suffice to say that when we feel let down by those who we love, they may be teaching us a profound lesson of who we really are.

If someone had introduced such a scenario to me and asked what would you do if this happened to you? How would you handle it? I probably wouldn’t have had an answer. And yet as life thrusts situations our way or we bear the consequences of another’s choice, we are sometimes offered the opportunity (albeit sometimes not willingly); to face these in order to learn more about ourselves. It is also a chance to view these less than desirable experiences from a different perspective.

Appearances may be deceiving; sometimes you need to dig deeper. 

Going through less than desirable experiences and especially when you’ve felt let down by those whom you trusted can no doubt feel awful. And trying to seek higher ground is very difficult when you are caught up in an emotional storm.

In my less-than desirable experience, I allowed the tears to fall, the pain to be felt, and gave it space to be expressed. To my surprise, after releasing the emotions, perspective came in a very strange yet perfect form:

 In swing dancing one person is the leader, the other a follower.

I realized in a lot of ways I was avoiding one of my strengths which is being a leader. Ever the follower, I wilfully went along with everyone else and always asked others to decide. I always wanted decisions made for me. Taking responsibility to make my own choices seemed too daunting of a task. I hadn’t built up the confidence to fully trust myself to feel okay with the consequences of those choices. Mainly the chatter in my head went something like this: What if I screw up? What if I choose wrong? Who will I hurt in the process if my choice is wrong?

Yet this entire experience with a loved one who let me down in the moment broke me open to a facet of myself that I had been avoiding. I needed to take the reigns, communicate how I felt toinitiate change in a more positive direction.

 I needed to fully step into the awareness of my role as being a leader.

It could only come from me. If I honoured myself and my feelings that would be my first step. Or, I could sit and stew in my pain, blame the other person and hold onto resentment.

I chose to express how I felt instead and the result of that decision?

Peace.

It is in my experience that the ones we love and are connected to are the ones that shape us into the individuals that we become. I learned that if I simply tap into the courage that is within me to feel the feelings and look past the surface level of things, I may find hidden truths about myself that are beautiful gems for my continued expansion as a human being.

I couldn’t be more grateful for this.

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