What do you want to be when you grow up? That was a pretty common question my teachers and my parents would ask me starting from age 11.
In my first blog post I wrote about my dream of being a research scientist. At the age of 11 or 12 I had it all figured out. Then as I grew up and discovered when I was 23 that that path really wasn’t working, I “found” a new one. A career which would allow me to help people while also being able to support myself and make a living. At that time in my life, I was too scared to allow myself to be open to all of the possibilities that the world could offer me. I was scrambling, drawing at straws to find something that fit those two requirements.
While that path led me to where I am now, and I am incredibly grateful for the lessons I’ve learned along the way, I’ve discovered that it’s time to switch directions again.
But to what?
I’ve been asking that question for the last 2.5 years. During that period I’ve switched job roles within the same career – still within the same organization. I may be laid off soon because of job cuts. I also believe that since I’ve been asking that question for awhile now, that perhaps I’m attracting this into my life for a reason.
I’ve never been good at just trusting that the next step in my life will magically show up. I’m a backup plan kind of girl. I have plans A,B and C in place. From experiencing disappointment after disappointment, it sort of became my defensive mechanism. One that I’ve let go of recently.
It’s been scary, following my heart. I’m not sure why though, my heart led me to my beautiful husband, it led me to different places to meet different people who all have affected my life in very positive ways. All of the experiences that I can think of where I felt ‘led’ in a certain direction have all panned out. I guess the fear comes from not knowing where the next bread crumb will lead. Or not having a clue as to what to expect.
From this experience I’m learning how to just trust that I will know what the next step is. I’m also learning that right now I’m at an amazing time in my life where all kinds of possibilities are opening up for me because I’m open to receiving them. Even being able to write this blog has been a blessing; an awesome opportunity to express myself in words. Seeing those words on the world wide web is pretty cool.
As I reflect on that question – what do you want to be when you grow up? – more now, I think when I have children, I think I’ll change that question to – What fun things do you want to learn about when you grow up?
I’ll also be sure to tell my children – it’s okay to change your mind, and to keep changing it because even when you do grow up to be an adult, you’ll never stop growing.
I’ll also tell them to follow the bread crumbs of their hearts; they will never lead you astray.